A counselor in the making
In this reflective journal, I am willing to write my observation summarized from the lecture, classroom, and the study guides to identify briefly, what are the active listening, reflective listening counselling and counselling skill and practices that we did in tutorial. What I understood about counselling is a service to help people with certain problem by making mutual relationship, addressing their issues in supportive environment so that a better understanding can be achieved. While it is, necessary for counsellors observe the client and focus what is the main issue and pain they having, what is the key issue making them unhappy or stressed. It is not a theory that I can express only in few sentences. It includes wide range of study, practice and experience how to become a successful counsellor. People in their life happen to be a counsellor either professional or non-professional way (embedded), when it comes to a relationship, for example, between mother and child, student and teacher, nurse and patient. Counsellors must also demonstrate active listening by engaging the various techniques throughout their sessions; Active listening makes the person who is talking feel worthy, appreciated and respected. When a counsellor pays particular attention to what the client is saying they are encouraging the client to continue talking, as well as ensuring communication remains open and positive and With minimal responses, minimal sounds and words we make when listening to a person speak. Sounds such as „mmm‟, aha‟„yes‟ and ,ok‟ are all used to let the person know we are listening while avoiding interruption to what they are saying. (McLeo, 2007,p.23).
I would like to outline how I practiced active- reflective listening as counsellor and client role in class. At role-play, by listening to my client (Mary) efficiently, try to use appropriate posture, eye contact, use of minimal responses, invitations to continue, facial expressions, No interruptions and allowing silences for the speaker to collect her thoughts.(reference)
She started with a sentence that “I can’t imagine to living without my mum” which tingled my curiosity to know more. After a several second silence, she continued talking passionately about her mum and their closenes. An empathic response I used for Mary was ‘I sense your frustration’. I could tell Mary had deeper feelings of frustration that lay beneath her happy exterior and voice she accepted my reflection and this frustration seemed to become a part of the story we explored. There was however, another underlying feeling I was only aware of at the time, which was a feeling of fear beneath the anger. This was to check my accuracy in understanding the actual problem.
I try to Paraphrasing “so you have constant fear to losing your mother” she pointed that “this is it “fear” and she continued how much their relationship is close now, after years not having one. I found out that she was happy and satisfied with her rule as daughter. During our conversation I felt little nervous because I was unsure if I’m comfortable to continue this conversation since I’ve lost my mother recently , I might have explored this with Mary if I had been more aware of it at the time by sharing my intuitive sense and what I was experiencing. So there was me’ whom crying and poor lecturer came to calmed me down the same time help us to finish our role play. Then I realize I’ was too preoccupied with my own ‘emotion and mood. Whether the question is too personal or inappropriate, what is the limit of it, is my posture proper, do I make myself clear, then of course my’ English, since it is my second language? With no doubt I’ failed as counsellor.
I was listening actively for meaning as well as her words and non-verbal messages, with the exception of the beginning of the session when my mind wandered with other thoughts and I was not fully present. When one is present in a conversation it calls for an entire focus on the person and what they are saying. Empathy is adopting another person’s frame of reference while leaving our own behind, enabling us to explore the other person’s world more fully (Corey, 2012, p.23). For me to be successful I need to be focus more on listening and becoming more “other-oriented” which involves making a determined attempt to understand the other person and their experience.
In conclusion as a councellor it calls for dedication and sacrifice. I believe in daily activities there is not time limit as to when one can ask you for advice. With the many challenges facing people in their activities, either arising from economic hard times, family challenges like the case mentioned earlier or even from the relationship issues. This means one will always be a servant of the people which I believe it is every coucellors joy to see people live freely without emotion overload .